Busted

Posted: January 13, 2016 in Uncategorized

mouse-hand

– Son, if you were eighteen now what year would you need to have been born?
– 1997, Dad.
– That was fast.
– Yeah…?
– STOP VISITING PORN SITES ON MY LAPTOP!

Mini Saga: Remarkable

Posted: January 12, 2016 in Uncategorized
uvlight_petstainfinder5
“It’s so weird, ” she said, “that you’re a stain on my carpet.”
“It’s weirder,” I replied, “bringing it up now, at the dinner table. The first time meeting my parents.”
She laughed, regaled: how she’d scrubbed and scrubbed but my stubborn spilled seed remained.
“Please pass the potatoes,” said Mum.

 

A Visit

Posted: January 8, 2016 in Uncategorized

grey-squirrel

The wild crouched into twitching, watchful statues as we approached.  We had stepped into the role of Man, the enemy, and I didn’t like it. I could see the squirrel’s side heaving with trepidation. Whispered Sorry and it darted out of reach. We left palm-scoops of seeds in the grass, like calling cards.

 

Save All Questions for the End

Posted: January 2, 2016 in Poetry

845

 

Family tree is the hardest to climb out of.
You get caught up in its branches.
I can feel my inheritance
pounding in my blood,
building up in the respective organs.
The past lays the slabs
for the pathways to the future,
thus they are already
a little cracked and worn.
In which clearing will mine end?
Pancreatic? Lung?
Hazy casserole of deteriorating memory?
What lies in wait, inside,
preparing to burst open
and drown me in the tide
of that universal deadline?

Advancement

Posted: January 1, 2016 in Poetry

jenga-falling-for-web

Well done, you’ve
placed a brick
upon a brick!
Now you’ve learnt
to say brick?
Well done!
It’s a tricky word.
You’ve built a
whole house made
out of bricks?
Well done!
You’ve tripped
over a brick.
There, there.
Don’t cry.
You’ve drawn a
whole house made
out of bricks!
Well done.
The mean boy
threw a brick
and you didn’t
cry? Well done!
You got into a
red-brick university?
Well done!
You’ve bought a
whole house made
out of bricks?
Well done!
You never noticed
us corner you,
building this trap,
one brick at a time.

Senryu #4

Posted: December 21, 2015 in Poetry

jobcentre-plus

The guide dog inside
the Job Centre looked a bit
smug. He was winning.

 

Senryu #3

Posted: December 2, 2015 in Poetry

syria1_2216336b

War is messy but
it makes a tidy profit
for its creators.